PASCOE, mckinlay niklas

[mckinlay niklas pascoe]

mckinlay niklas pascoe , *

twenty four . musician . jacoby shaddix

HOLLY WOOD WHORE, PASSED OUT ON THE FLOOR
i'm sorry, but the party's over.

"i didn't want to live my live in a dark shadow all of the time."

EXPLAIN THE NAME
my mother looked through all the baby naming books she could get her name on, but she couldn't find a name that she said "suited her baby boy." so, she went foreign. literally. my name is so irish it's not funny, but she didn't care and she really didn't care that it sounded like a girl's name. but i'm not mckinlay. i'm mack and strictly mack, so get it right.

EXPLAIN THE PARENTS
my father was one of the sorriest men that ever walked on this earth. he was a liar, a fake, and an abuser. i might have been five, but i had been taught that hitting was wrong. apparently my father had skipped that lesson in kindergarten. he never laid a hand on me, but my mother was a different story. so when my mother cheated on my father, got pregnant, and nine months later had not his baby, my father left us. nineteen years later, that's still the best day of my life.

my mother is a great woman. i mean, she's not exactly the kind of woman i look up to and she's nothing like the kind of woman i want in my life, but she's great. after my father left she mourned the loss of his sorry ass. she stopped caring. i ended up practically raising my new sister, mick, and mom just didn't really give a shit. but i wanted her to. i pushed my limits as far i thought the could go, trying to make her care. i smoked, i drank, i had sex, i did drugs, i partied, and i almost flunked out of school. but nothing i did made her care. i couldn't give mick that life, so i cared about her. it was all i could do.

EXPLAIN THE TATTOOS
it was an act of rebellion and my last ditch attempt at making my mother care about something i did. i was fifteen and i'd already tried everything in the book, so i decided to do something permanent. it was amateur, but it had a point. i dunno, even though i was only doing it for a reason, the moment the needle touched my skin, i was in love. cliche as that is. it was like the needle gave me enough pain to just suck all of the shit out of my life. it's like a trick. after one you just can't stop.

EXPLAIN THE HOME SITUATION
i live on a farm on the outskirts of town with mick, forty acres. she inherited it from the dead father she never had. lovely right? it's good though, 'cos she can house her fuckload of horses and we've got chicken's for eggs and sometimes a pig for bacon. if i feel like slaughtering a pig that day. usually not.

and mick is my best girl, always. i'll protect her till the end, make sure she doesn't turn out like me. i'm not saying that i'm so grandeur fuck up, or anything, but there are better things in life to be me. mick's always been so pure, not exactly innocent or anything, but she's just always been so much better than anything i could ever be and i just.. i want to keep her that way.

EXPLAIN THE BASIC TRAINING
it was juvie or basic training. i was sixteen and didn't wanna spend all of my free time with some crazy fuckers just because of a stupid charge for drug possession, so i went to boot camp and enjoyed hitting on all the sergeants. i guess i've had a thing for army nerds ever since.

THE CAMERAS ARE GONE AND NOBODY SCREAMS
couldn't survive fifteen minutes of fame.

smith . [e-mail] . 5 + .